Kappell Family Blog

Well today I had my first minor car accident since the crash with the Olds Mobile. Carrie was pregnant with Anthony; Joshua was about 18 months at the time. I ran a stop sign and we were smashed into. We were in a residential Neiborhood and we were slammed across the street into a wall. We were hit on the passenger side where Carrie was sitting, MAN talk about being scared. She was 6-7 months pregnant. I was supposed to go to jail for suspended license no insurance. Carrie was hurt so bad she had to walk backwards anywhere she went for the next two months. We were so broke we could not even buy food to eat. Times were different then. We never knew what was going to happen next. Power turned off evicted from the place we lived. We were one kid in and on the way. We were just kids our self with no idea of what to do or what we were doing.

Would I change it if I could? No how would I appreciate what I have learned and experienced. It is weird I have money, my license the bills are paid, and yet it seems like the stress never ends. The pressures of people depending on you can weigh you down. I think it is these situation that bring out the best in us. We fight to push forward and to better things. It is like seeing dominos falling and trying to run in front of the to stop them only to make it worse. Let them fall where them may and deal with it the best way you can.

When times are tuff and life seems ruff, don’t give up you have to keep fighting and to learn from your experiences so you know not to make the same mistakes. But most likely you will. . .

Life is full of circumstances. And for the most part for me they have sucked. Oh course I say that and well oh course I mean it.

I always ask myself how did I get myself into this mess? What did I do to get here? Well I use to blame everybody for my problems. I had made myself a victim of my own circumstance and managed to find away to blame everyone and everything around me. Well imagine that, it did not make any thing better or change a single thing.

Then one day someone kind of pointed me in the right direction. They said there are circumstances and then there is you, and nothing else. And all you can do is deal with ones you can, and the ones you can’t well you do the best you can. And the more I thought about it the more it made sense. BAM, it hits me I am in this mess because of how I dealt with the circumstances or how I DIDN’T deal with it! ! !

So one day I had what is referred to as an epiphany. An awaking with in myself, I said NO MORE will I lye down and be defeated by the circumstance without making an effort to deal with them. So I decided to do what I could to change them. And I did and still do. I managed to pretty much keep myself moving in a good direction. Well so I thought.

The problem is my awaking or epiphany was limited to my financial problems. What I had not figured out was, that I was not doing the same for my relationship with my Wife/Girlfriend. Nor was I doing it with the rest of my family my kids my mother, brother, sister, in-laws, cousins and of course my friends.

Well this awaking or epiphany was mind blowing it in compassed my whole life. I had not realized that I was letting other people create and deal with my circumstances, which made things worse. The thing is that I did not even know it, until this time again someone different this time had pointed this out. Controlling your situation by dealing with your circumstance puts you in control of your life and the direction you want to take it.

It is oh course an EVENTUALITY that we will have to deal with the circumstance of our current situations. The out come of dealing with our circumstance GOOD or BAD is not the issue, the out come is what it is no more no less. It is how you react to the out come how you handle it, what you learn from it what you take from it. If you don’t take anything away from it either way, then you have learned nothing from it and are domed to repeat your mistakes until you do. But if you learn form it change the way you see and deal with your circumstances than you have truly learned to open your eyes and control what ever lies in front of you.

I am still very young and realize that the possibilities are infinite in their outcome. With experience comes knowledge understanding that knowledge leads to wisdom! I hope I live long enough to reach that level of understanding in all things small and great.

Oh of course I realize that my personal writings are incomplete. But than again I have not completely figured them out either. But that is life, and we all know how life is, well I hope we do.

This is dedicated to my mother whom I love for all her faults and her greatness, I see things in her that I don’t think she does. I hope one day she will.

I love you mom with all my heart and all my sole ! !

Phillip